It's not them. It's you. — Why people are not replying to you.

An entertainer, Facebook “Friend” of mine posted a “rant”. For eleven seconds, I thought about replying to his post; but we have never met in person or even corresponded online, and I thought he might take my advice too critically. So, I decided to write a column on the “rant”.

Here is his rant...

Ok, Time to RANT...

So, how do you handle so called professionals that don’t return your calls, texts, e-mails, facebook messages or whatever form of communication you use?

Let’s assume that you communicated with a so called professional, using their desired form of communication... What is a reasonable time for them to respond? I have always made my very best effort to return all messages within 24-48 hours. Even if I’m traveling or have to respond with a message acknowledging that I received their message, but I will have to get back with them in a couple of days.... even in that case, I still respond within the 24-48 hour time frame. I have lost the technology war from time to time and have not received their message, or it got lost somewhere on the “www.interwebnet”, Facebook hell or the text message black hole, but those times are very few and far between and I’ve always rectified the situation.

So tell me how you would handle these types of people. I would love to hear your strategy. Also, answer this question? Should we publicly call out those that do not respond to messages in a timely manor? Or... create a Facebook page to list them as non-responders?

Just my rant... sorry for the length of the post, but I can’t wait to hear your replies.


What I wanted to reply with was, “Have you ever considered it is not them?”

When you do not receive a response from a client, potential client, or other business contact; 94% of the time it is not their fault. You have not given them a strong enough reason to return your call or text or email or Facebook message or whatever form of communication you used.

Why would anyone take the effort to get back to you? In other words, what is in it for them?

Suppose you left a message for your toughest client letting them know that you had $1,000 in cash that you would like to hand to them, and you just wanted to set up a time to meet.

One of two things would happen.

  1. You would get a return call within 30 minutes asking when you could meet.
  2. Your client despises talking to you so much that $1,000 cannot get them to have a conversation with you.

If you are leaving messages similar to these, then you should never expect a response.

  1. “Hi, Tom. I am calling to follow up on our last conversation.”
  2. “I wanted to send you an email to find out if you received my last email about performing at your holiday party. Sometimes, my emails get sent to spam, and I thought you might not have seen it.”
  3. “Hey, Kelly! I am just wondering if your boss gave you the thumbs up.”
  4. “Hi Chris, my name is Tom. I am an entertainer, and I wanted to know if we could talk about any company events at which you could use my services.”
  5. “John, I sent you the agreement; and I have not heard anything since. I am calling to see if you had the chance to look at it.”
  6. Blah, blah, blah...

Give them a reason to call you back. Try these instead.

  1. “Hi, Pam. This is Bill Gladwell. When we spoke yesterday, I asked you to take a look at my website at; and I realize that anyone can say anything on the Internet. So, I asked a couple of my clients if they would be comfortable having a brief conversation with you. You will receive a call from Jane Doe, the CEO of Johnson & Johnson, within the next day. Jane has personally hired me for several events. I also asked Kevin Bacon (yes, the actor) to shoot you a quick email about me and my show. You will officially always be the winner when your friends play “6 Degrees of Kevin Bacon”. I will give you a call in a couple of days to discuss your event further.”
  2. “Jack, I spoke with a business owner that has hired me to speak and entertain for his company a few times, and I was telling him about what you do over at ABC, Inc. He is very interested in your services and would like to speak with you. I gave him your contact information, and here is his name and phone number in the event that you would like to reach out to him first... Larry Smith, (123) 456-7890. Give me a quick call, and I can tell you a bit more about Larry.”
  3. If you are speaking with someone who is waiting for the thumbs-up from their boss, then you are speaking with the wrong person. Always start at the top... or as close to the top as you can get. You may have a chance of closing the deal if your contact is waiting on the thumbs-up from their boss; but you will close the deal most every time if the CEO calls his event planner and says, “Call Bill Gladwell, and get him booked for the February sales meeting.”
  4. “Chris, this is Bill Gladwell. A good friend of yours, Don Young at AZ Company, gave me your contact info and asked me to give you a call. I have someone that I think you should speak with who could use your services. My number is (123) 456-7890.”
  5. “Hi, John. I am looking forward to working with you. I emailed you our agreement and the invoice this past Monday, and I wanted to remind you that you are saving 10% (that’s over $400) for having the agreement back to me within five days along with payment in full. On a different note, I ran into a friend of mine who owns XYZ Enterprise; and she would like to speak with you about how you can help her company. Give me a call, and I will connect you with her.”

You may have noticed that I am helping people grow their business and make money. If you can do that, they will very likely help you do the same.

Make people feel good, help them reach their goals, and you will get more of what you want in return. At the very least, they will respond to your communication 94% of the time.

On the other hand, just keep blaming and complaining about the “so called professionals”, and those of us who take responsibility if we do not get a response will continue to grow as you remain stagnant.

Some kind words from a friend and client

Some kind words from a friend and client of mine, and you should click on the link below and attend his show if you are in the Moab, Utah area this summer.

Dear Magicians,

I wanted to send a quick update. As many of you know, I put a lot of emphasis on the Bill Gladwell interview from the Magic Master Summit. Well, I’m stoked to announce that everything is in motion, and we open our own theater in May, based off of everything I learned from Bill Gladwell.

If you haven’t checked out his presentation yet, I highly suggest it!
— Dave DaVinci

Learn more about David DaVinci and his show by

clicking on this link now...

How to steal the mic from a talk show host

I have been hired to perform at the 29th Annual Chandler Chamber Ostrich Festival in Arizona.

  • The good news... I was asked to make an appearance on KPNX's Arizona Midday. It was a fabulous time with some great people.
  • The bad news... I found out that only "trained professionals" get to ride the ostriches.

Here is the segment that includes the makings of a great joke... "An ostrich, a thought reader, a contestant from The Voice, and a magician walk into a Midday segment."

NOTE: Watch me take the mic from the host.

Click on this link to view the segment...!%20&site=75&playerid=6918249996581&dfpid=32805352&dfpposition=Video_prestream_external%C2%A7ion=home

Two degrees to Sir Winston Churchill

This past weekend, I performed for close to 300 people attending a Rotary District Conference in South Carolina. I had been looking forward to this particular weekend since I was booked, because I was told I would be sharing the stage with Sir Winston Churchill's great-grandson, Jonathan Sandys.

It turns out that Jonathan is a great speaker who focuses on the leadership lessons from his great-grandfather, he is a wellspring of stories about Churchill that you may never hear from anyone else, he is a great human being, and my newest friend.

To my surprise, Jonathan's blog post that hit the virtual news stand today is about his experience with me. You can read the post at this link; and while you are there, take a look around his website and subscribe...

Let's talk about how long it takes to change a habit?

I had a company ask me for details on my smoking cessation program; and whether you smoke or not, my response turned into something that will be helpful to anyone looking to change a habit. There are a lot of misconceptions out there.

How long does it take for people to stop smoking with your program?

There is one thing that holds true for anyone who wants to make a change using hypnosis or not… It takes 21 days to change a habit, right?


Yet, this is what you will hear from most people, even “experts”.

In the 1950s, Dr. Maxwell Maltz noticed a pattern among his plastic surgery patients. He noticed that it would take his patients a minimum of 21 days to get used to seeing their new face. With an arm or leg amputee patient, Maltz noticed that his patient would sense a phantom limb for a minimum of 21 days before adjusting to the new situation. Maltz wrote, “These, and many other commonly observed phenomena tend to show that it requires a minimum of about 21 days for an old mental image to dissolve and a new one to jell.”

Most people forget or never knew that Maltz said “a minimum of about 21 days.” Current studies concur that it does take a minimum of 21 days to change a habit. In a study from 2009, it was shown to take anywhere from 18 days to 254 days for people to form a new habit.

Hypnosis does not make you stop smoking. Hypnosis does, however, greatly speed up your learning curve. In my initial session with my clients, I explain that I could move in with them and stop them from putting a cigarette in their mouth every time they reach for one; and I can encourage them to replace that craving with a more pleasurable and healthy alternative. Over a 2 to 8 month period, they would be a nonsmoker. — OR — They can commit to 4 to 8 weeks of using hypnosis, and they can achieve what they want in 75% less time and without a new house guest.

Over the past 27 years, I have had a handful of smoking cessation clients who stopped after our first session together, and they never went back. This is not the norm. Most people have a good 30 to 60 days of committed listening before being a nonsmoker becomes who they are deep down.

Can smoking cessation be accomplished with only hypnosis audio programs?

It depends. Specifically, it depends on the client. This is not a limitation of smoking cessation programs or hypnosis. The success of making a change is dependent on the level of motivation and commitment of the client.

If you want to lose weight and get in shape, I can get you the most expensive exercise equipment and the best personal coach that money can buy; but if you do not use the equipment and meet with your coach, you will never reach your goals. The same is true with smoking cessation. I can give you all the tools you need to learn how to never put another cigarette in you mouth; but if you do not listen to the hypnosis audio programs as advised, you will continue to puff away.

I have had countless clients permanently become nonsmokers using only my hypnosis audio program. These people had leverage on themselves. They were told by their cardiologist that they had to stop smoking or their 5-year-old daughter began to mimic smoking with her crayons or their brother died of lung cancer. Others, however, needed to be accountable to someone. These are the people who I see in regular sessions for a period of time. In person or online, I ask the person how many times they listened to their audio recordings over the past week, what results they are seeing, what their biggest challenge is, and how close they are to their goal. Some people need this, because they are unable to hold themselves accountable.

When someone falls short of their goal using a hypnosis audio program, many times it is like a patient who does not take their prescribed medication. It is not the medication… it is their noncompliance.

What does your smoking cessation program entail?

My hypnosis audio program has been developed through 27 years of finding out out what works and what does not. These are the critical areas and challenges that are addressed in my program.

  • You must have the motivation, commitment, and leverage to change any behavior. With a written plan developed by you and the hypnosis audio series, you will develop a conviction to become a nonsmoker and stay that way.
  • This program is not aversion therapy. When you make the experience and feelings associated to choosing not to smoke much more pleasurable than taking a drag off of a cigarette, you do not need aversion therapy.
  • Longtime smokers typically end up with a lit cigarette between their fingers before they consciously are aware of it. It is an unconscious activity for them. A crucial step is to make them consciously aware every time they think about or touch a cigarette, and interrupt that behavior.
  • For some, smoking is a form of self-punishment or crutch. It is something that they can blame for their behavior in other areas of their lives with out taking personal responsibility. It is important to eliminate this thinking if it is an issue for you.
  • Fear of turning to a new vice stops many people from giving up smoking. Many people believe that they will gain weight if they stop smoking. Without the proper guidance, this can surely happen. When you learn to replace smoking with a positive habit that is much more pleasurable and healthy for you, you will minimize the possibility of turning to a different negative habit.
  • It is okay to be stubborn as long as you focus that stubbornness in the right direction. You will learn how to be so stubborn that nothing could ever get you to put another cigarette in your mouth.
  • Many smokers link smoking to other activities. For example, some people smoke on the golf course or on the drive to work or after a great meal. These links must be broken and replaced with new empowering alternatives, and your mind will be programmed to make new beneficial connections.